My Own Two of Swords Situation

This week's Intuitive Tuesday card was the Two of Swords, a card of being stuck between your thoughts. I have been stuck between my thoughts on a decision about if and how to continue writing a weekly column I have in our local paper, The Grand Junction Daily Sentinel.

Having a public relations background, my idea to write the column was originally to get exposure and create a better understanding of the power of life coaching. So many people thought it was like counseling or consulting...but coaching and different and very powerful to help people create their lives instead of simply responding to what happens in their lives.

The article most often revolves around a fictitious client story line where I would dialogue with the client to peel apart and explore what was keeping them stuck and together come up with ways to move forward.

The column has kept my name and face in the community without having to do a lot of networking events or advertising. My ego LOVES it when someone walks up and says, "I read your column. I loved the one about such and such. I think you were talking about me!" OR "I cut out your column on such and such and have it hanging on my fridge."

I have clients that I've gained through the newspaper and what I hear most often is, "I've been reading your column for months and finally felt it was time to contact you." Great! My public relations is working!

What I've found along the way is that I used to write the column to coach (find clients) and then I coached to gain experience and ideas for my column. Now, I'm not sure which is driving which.

Over the holidays, after 2 1/2 years of writing the column, I got an intuitive hit that something needed to shift. So many questions came up:

• Is the time I invest in writing the column worth it? Am I truly gaining clients? Is that still important to me?
  
• Have I established my credibility (at least in this market) both as a life coach and also for the profession?
• Am I able to truly express my authentic voice in my column? This newspaper has a fairly mainstream audience so mentioning some of the things I get intuitively are watered down with phrases like, "I get a sense..." or "I feel that such and such...how does that land for you?" Perhaps the format I've created, that has been working, now feels a bit stifling.
• And perhaps a bit more personal (and important), I want to be as available for my husband and kids. The window for me to be influential in the boys' lives is slowly closing as they finish middle school and head off to high school and possibly college. I don't want to miss this time with them.
  

And the thing that got my attention BIG TIME was when my husband said, "You don't need to push yourself so hard. Why don't you take a sabbatical? Take more time to be with the boys, be more involved with their schooling, college preparation, study yoga, write your blog, etc. Then he said, "The toughest thing for you (being as Type A as I am) would be to take some time off." Wow! Is that true!

How many times in your life are you offered such an opportunity?

My friend, Laura, did an intuitive reading for me and said this is a 7 year for me, which represents a time of inner reflection, much like taking a sabbatical. Again...I can barely imagine taking time off. What is life without a To Do list?

And so, my thoughts have been pondering around all of these questions (and more). The Two of Swords energy for sure.

I've pulled cards, asked my Intuition Through Tarot group for a reading, had several intuitive friends give me their impressions and yet I haven't quite landed on quitting it altogether.

For now, I've decided to continue to write the column (because I haven't decided NOT to). Remember NOT to decided is to decide.

I continue to write, to take advantage of the 30,000+ weekly newspaper readers (plus online readers) with the goal of writing with my authentic voice. Perhaps shifting it ever so slightly to include more metaphysical ideas, Law of Attraction concepts, intuitive hits, and weave more of the true ME into the (supposedly) mainstream work that I do.

I have two sides practical/mainstream and intuitive/metaphysical. But these are just two facets of a larger whole. I am a healer and messenger, no matter how or where I express myself.

The King of Coins message for me (the card I pulled on Thursday) is to step back and look at this from a business standpoint and see that I have a platform and as long as I feel free to deliver the messages I am given, I should keep moving forward. Being a Divine Messenger is a major part of my purpose in this lifetime...no matter how or when that shows up. No matter what role I am playing at the time.

Manage. Lead. Manage. Lead.

And so it is (at least for now)...